Writers: get to the point and shorten those sentences

When it comes to writing ledes, using anecdotes is a tried and true method. Just don’t overdo it like this writer for a hospital employee publication did

Associate Giving … Making A Difference

Thanks to the generous donations of SJH associates, more than $3,200 was designated for Providence Hospital’s Heart Institute, enabling St. John Health to alleviate varying kinds of leg pain or discomfort through the purchase of an ultrasound device called an ankle brachial index machine. This technology allows for the detection of poor blood flow and associated pain in the extremities, in a non-invasive way.