Pay-per-e-mail: The solution to your financial woes

Why you should charge $10 each time you’re asked to send an employee-wide e-mail

Is your communication department at the mercy of the bean counters who are looking to “slash costs and put savings to the bottom line?” Does your organization find ways to nickel and dime the communications department to death, all in the name of “rationalizing corporate spending?” Did your print budget get slashed to ribbons because somebody somewhere wanted suck up to the CFO by “getting tough on corporate waste?” Did your freelancers have to be fired so your firm could “show the analysts we mean business?”

You can stop wringing your ink-stained hands, my fellow beleaguered communicators. I’ve figured this all out for you. Here is the solution to the communication department’s financial woes: Simply institute a small charge for each e-mail a corporate department or corporate exec wants to send to all employees. A meager $5 or $10 charge per e-mail request will do. Just stipulate that teeny amount be paid your department each time a request comes in for an all-hands e-mail, and you will soon be rolling in filthy lucre.

Don’t believe me? Take a look at the math: