High-fructose communications

Whether it’s a bag of pretzels, Starbursts, chocolate-covered macadamia nuts (that was a great day), fudgy brownies, Jelly Bellies, peanut M&M’s, homemade oatmeal raisin cookies, or Nutter Butters, our moods are elevated to a sugary, Zen-like high.

We express gratitude, mingle with one another, and savor the sugar rush.

Then, four seconds later, it’s back to our desk to write about how the free world is collapsing.

But at least for a moment—everything, all problems, are forgotten. A recent New York Times article says that in our current economic crisis, candy has become the ultimate pick-me-up. Forget the mac and cheese—give us some gummy bears. Our inner child will not be denied.

“Bill, since I started working here, I just feel like I’m constantly eating,” I said, as cookie crumbs flew out of my mouth.

“That’s one of the benefits,” Bill said, tipping open his mouth like a pelican to let the box of Good & Plenty pour in. “Ill-paid; well-fed.”

When it comes to Bill’s sugary stash, CEO Mark Ragan giveth and he taketh away. He is alternately supplier and raider. Yin, yang, yum.