20 phrases writers will never utter

Whether it’s because we write for a living or because we write in a corporate environment, corporate communicators have idiosyncrasies.

We balance arbitrary demands of clients and executives with necessity to craft clear and concise messages.

We argue that lazy corporate verbs such should be banned from our company publications, and correct grammar in the books that we read out loud to our kids.

We also catch typos everywhere—even when we’re not looking for them.

In deference to every eccentric writer out there, here are 20 phrases no writer would ever say:

1. “The hyphen is my favorite punctuation mark.”

2. “Using ‘utilize’ instead of ‘use’ does make you sound smarter.”

3. ” ‘Let’s Learn Medicare!’ is a great title for your presentation.”

4. “You’ve convinced me: ‘PowerPoint’ is a verb.”

5. “Your opening paragraph should be 14 sentences.”

6. “Capitalizing your job title can make you seem more important.”

7. “No one really uses style guides any more.”